Friday, 31 May 2013 00:00

Muggsy's Beans - The Poem

Written by Richard Witteman
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a coffee rhapsody

Muggsy's beans,
Noble beans,
Beans befit for Kings and Queens,
Caffeine supreme among caffeines,
Muggsy's beans.
 
Antigua, Columbia, Ethiopian beans,
Kenya, Sumatra and in-between,
Java, New Guinea, places I've never seen.
Peaberries from Tanzanians,
Them's Muggsy's beans.
 
Tall espresso, triple shot
Give me everything you've got.
Warm me 'til my blood won't clot.
Just be sure you've got a lot
Of Muggsy's beans.
 
Big stain on my countertop:
Filled my Thermos to the top,
Overflowed and couldn't stop.
Juan Valdez can keep his crop,
Gimme Muggsy's beans.
 
If I wake up, feelin' ill,
Hangover? It's just the pill.
Life's too short to drink cheap swill.
Drink until I've had my fill
Of Muggsy's beans.
 
Sip it, gulp it, or just slup,
Decaffeinated? Man, shut up.
Coffee. Leaded. Fill me up.
Yeah, I think I'll have a cup
Of Muggsy's beans.
 
Roast 'em, grind 'em, brew 'em hot
C'mon with that coffee pot.
Hurry man, my nerves are shot!
Don't pull no tricks, I'll know if they're not
Muggsy's beans.
 
'Scuse me dude, I ain't no tour'st.
I see you're prompt, but my need's worst.
I got to be in this line first
'Cause nothin' else will slake my thirst
Like Muggsy's beans.
 
No cream, no sugar, make mine black.
Pull my mug down off the rack.
Pour it strong, like liquid crack.
Bring me crap, you'll take it back,
I want Muggsy's beans.
 
Muggsy's beans,
Noble beans,
Beans befit for Kings and Queens,
Caffeine supreme among caffeines,
Muggsy's beans.

Read 6754 times Last modified on Thursday, 22 May 2014 12:52